Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dear James

Quite unexpectedly James said i should write another post.
I should apologise to all who have newly renewed their subscription to my blog as the fee was perilously high given i have practically no content, but to those who did morgage their house, this post is for you.

I spent all day today learning knots... To those of you who react by saying 'Thats interesting', it really wasn't. To those of you who say 'Fuck me, what a shit boring way to spend a summer sunday', you'd be right. And finally to those who cleverly deduced how handy this skill would be in the next bondage session, correct.
I honestly had no idea there were that many knots, just looking at the presumably incomplete wikipedia knot type listings was exhausting, compounded by the fact that i only learned three of them in a whole day.
While i'm sure the history of who invented the different knots, the why's and the how's, is all very interesting, I was far more interested on who the heck named them, as some of them must have required some fairly heavy hallucinogens.
'Corned beef knot' is just asking for trouble, but is curiously descriptive of its application, more than can be said for 'Monkey's Fist', 'Square turk's head', 'Munter Friction Hitch' or sadly 'Jug sling'
Now its all very easy to invent names seemingly unrelated to the purpose of the knot, my real admiration is for those who were so confident in their knot, so sure of its perfection that they named it after themselves, such as 'Matthew Walker's Knot'. Now i've seen that rather useless looking knot and can confidently announce that i can trump old Matthew with my newly released 'Sam the magnificent's lashing of perfection', otherwise known as a reef knot.

Like almost everyone, no matter how many times I see a discovery channel documentary about how safe and nice sharks apparently are, i'm only semi convinced. I will happily tell others how docile and friendly they really are, yet when i fall out of my kayak i see jaws flying out of the 1m deep water and thrash around wildly. I saw an ad in the age a few weeks ago for 'Planet Shark' an ominous title i'll agree, and they are a travelling shark exhibition with the slogan 'Predator or Prey', and a red tag line reading 'Discover the oceans most feared and misunderstood creatures'. To my mind the only mistake they made was choosing a massive image of a shark leaping from the water with its mouth gaping as the background picture, as i've now decided I did indeed sorely misunderstand them, and they are in fact giant killing machines.

If you pressure me to just go on and post I will james, but as a result i haven't reread my ramblings and consequently don't blame me if it makes little sense.

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